My sister emailed this to me, and I figure it was worth replicating, albeit with some lexicographical edits.

Why is it that some people just don't get the difference between your and you're?

Anyway, this brought back some memories.

1. Scattered showers with outbreaks of sunshine is good weather.
2. The only sausage you like is square.
3. You have been forced to do Scottish Country Dancing every year at high school.
4. You know a wide vocabulary of random Scottish words - numpty, aye, aye right, auldjin, baltic.
5. You have an irrational need to eat anything fried with your supper from the chippy - haggis, pizza, white pudding, sausage etc.
6. You used to love destroying your teeth when you were young - Buchanans toffee, Wham bars, tablet, cola cubes etc.
7. You have an enormous feeling of dread whenever Scotland play a 'numpty' team.
8. You happily engage in a conversation about the weather.
9. Even if you normally hate The Proclaimers, Runrig, Caledonia, Deacon Blue, Big Country etc, you still love it when you're in a club abroad and they play something Scottish.
10. You take a perverse pride in the fact that Scotland has the highest number of alcohol and smoking related deaths in Europe.
11. You used to watch Glen Michael's Cavalcade on a Sunday afternoon with his side kick lamp Paladin.
12. You got Oor Wullie and The Broons annuals at xmas.
13. You have come in from the pub p*ssed with flatmates and watched Weir's Way engrossed with a wee man in a bobbly hat walking around Scotland.
14. You can tell where another Scot is from by their accent - awright pal gonnae gies a wee swatch oa yur sun, cheers, magic pal - Glaswegian - fit ya bin up tae, fair few quines in the night eh? - Inverness etc.
15. You see 'Cops' and hear someone shout 'errapolis'.
16. You have participated in or watched people having a 'square go'.
17. You know that when someone asks you what school you went to they want to know if you are Catholic or Protestant.
18. You have eaten lots and lots of random Scottish food like mince 'n' tatties, oat cakes, haggis, Cullen Skink, macaroon bars etc.
19. A jakey has asked you for money. I'm not familiar with the term 'jakey' but apparently it's a term for what I would call an Alcy :-)
20. You think nothing of waiting expectantly for your 1p change from a shop keeper.
21. You know that the right response to 'yoo dancin' is 'yoo askin' followed by 'am askin' and finally 'then am dancin'.
22. You know that whenever you see sawdust, it reminds you of pools of vomit as that's what the jannies used to chuck on it at school.
23. You lose all respect for a groom who doesn't wear a kilt.
24. You don't go shopping, you do 'the messages'.
25. You're sitting on the train or bus and a drunk man sits next to you telling you a joke - and asking 'Am no annoying ya am a?' and you respond 'No not at all yer fine this is my stop'.
26. A Scottish male can have a phone conversation using the words awright, aye and naw.
27. You have experienced peer pressure to have an alcoholic drink when out - regardless of the circumstances.
28. You know ye cannae fling yer pieces oot a 20 storey flat, seven hundred hungry weans'll testify tae that, if its butter, cheese or jeely if the breid is plain or pan the odds against it reaching earth are 99 tae wan.
29. You know that going to a party at a friend's means bring your own drink.
30. Your holiday abroad is spoiled if you hear there is a heatwave in Scotland when you're away.
31. Scotland goes 2-0 up again the Czechs in a qualifier in Prague and your mate says we'll end up losing 3-2 here and you think 'probably'.
32. You can properly pronounce McConnochie, Ecclefechan, Milngavie, and Auchtermuchty.
33. You like deep fried battered pizza from the chippy. Actually, I don't care for it.
34. You're used to 4 seasons in one day.
35. You can't pass a chip shop/kebab shop, without drooling when you're drunk.
36. You can fall about drunk without spilling your drink.
37. You see people wearing shellsuits and Burberry accessories and think it's class. Errrr, no. Quite the opposite.
38. You measure distance in minutes.
39. You can understand Rab C Nesbitt and know characters just like them in your own family.
40. You go to Saltcoats because you think it's like being at the ocean.
41. You can make a whole sentence out of just swear words.
42. You know what haggis is made with and still eat it.
43. Somebody you know used a football schedule to plan their wedding day date.
44. You've been at a wedding where the footie results were read out.
45. You aren't surprised to find curries, pizzas, kebabs, Irn Bru, nappies and fags in one shop.
46. Your seaside holiday home has Calor Gas under it.
47. You know Irn Bru is a hangover cure. Frankly, the best one ever, especially if combined with a good fry-up.
48. You learned to swear before you learned your sums.
49. You understand this and are going to send it to your pals.
50. You are 100% Scottish if you have ever uttered these words - how's it hingin? clatty, boggin, cludgie, ba-heid, baw bag and dubble nugget.